02 December 2020

Not an Emotionless Zombie

Someone, anyone, please zap me with the emotion stick. Like I exist on one side of the glass and my feelings live on the other. I wish I knew how and why this happened. There has to be a way to prevent it from repeating. I came here in this life for the fun and full of it. I am a Creator who feels her way on the path. But today, I can barely see it.

I don't mean to sound like I am complaining about my lot. I believe there is a reason and serves me from a bigger picture kind of way.

For years now, I've told my hubbin I want to be here in my body past my 90th birthday. There's still LOTS I want to experience and me being 52, there's plenty of years unassigned. But not when I don't feel completely like ME. When I focus too long, my brain hurts. I have to back off when I just want to keep going.

I make progress with projects that matter, that will serve more than just me and then, wham! On my butt, almost starting from the discovery end. Very frustrating, It's like I should sit on the throne wearing all my finery but am really just wearing rags.

Okay, enough of telling that story. That gets me nowhere but more of the same.

Time to tell a different story. These brain moments have to be a gift, for they allow me to approach life from an offset perspective. Perhaps I can now see all I was blind to before. Knowing there is value right in front of me, I can take steps toward them without judgment. I am a Creator. And this is my life.

**NEW** I recorded an audio version of this post. Click the arrow on the player below to hear it.