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05 December 2020

Change Lanes, Damn It!

This morning, the sun is out. The house is quiet. It is just Paru, the cat, and I up to enjoy the softness of this Saturday morning. I am listening to music that holds a special pocket inside my thumping heart. I am borrowing its momentum and energy to dig past the feeling I have that something is off.

If I had the door open, Paru would move about my desk as usual. I would look the same as always, and he wouldn't be on guard. But I feel a bit on edge. I don't like it. And I know that if I keep giving my attention to it in that way, it will just become more.

So let us change the subject, turn my head and point my fingers to new keystrokes. I am grateful to have people that love me for who I am. I am glad I still can take chances and risk rejection. I love seeing the stacks of research, notes, ideas, processes, and other components on story creating in front of me on the desk. Well, I unpacked them, finally, this week. Just hadn't yet organized them for easy access.

The sight reminds me of the 15+ year journey I've been on with my quest to create stories of meaning and share how I did it. There is still a long path ahead of me, but I know how to navigate with no doubts.

That off feeling from 200 words ago? It's in my rear-view mirror.


**NEW** I recorded an audio version of this post. Click the arrow on the player below to hear it.