07 December 2020

Stop Hiding - Someone Wants to Meet You

Claim your weirdness - does anyone dare to embrace this concept these days? Oh gosh, I hope so. No need to be cookie cutters in a tattered, one-foot balancing world. A modern Renaissance is what we need. The guiding light should be to share yourself in all its glory and be damned what anyone else thinks about it.

Whoosh! On a roll this morning. Feels like the gauntlets are off - oh, snap, don't have any of those except energetic ones. I just love being witness to people showing who they are to the world. You can just feel the flow of their perfection and happiness. Those are the ones that show draw enormous crowds when they self express. Leading by example never meant so much.

You never know what someone knows that can help you pivot, progress, or even come forward in the moment. There are lots of people who know what you want to know. Dare you ask the question to draw them near? YES! Maybe to that other person, YOU are who they've been waiting for.

05 December 2020

Change Lanes, Damn It!

This morning, the sun is out. The house is quiet. It is just Paru, the cat, and I up to enjoy the softness of this Saturday morning. I am listening to music that holds a special pocket inside my thumping heart. I am borrowing its momentum and energy to dig past the feeling I have that something is off.

If I had the door open, Paru would move about my desk as usual. I would look the same as always, and he wouldn't be on guard. But I feel a bit on edge. I don't like it. And I know that if I keep giving my attention to it in that way, it will just become more.

So let us change the subject, turn my head and point my fingers to new keystrokes. I am grateful to have people that love me for who I am. I am glad I still can take chances and risk rejection. I love seeing the stacks of research, notes, ideas, processes, and other components on story creating in front of me on the desk. Well, I unpacked them, finally, this week. Just hadn't yet organized them for easy access.

The sight reminds me of the 15+ year journey I've been on with my quest to create stories of meaning and share how I did it. There is still a long path ahead of me, but I know how to navigate with no doubts.

That off feeling from 200 words ago? It's in my rear-view mirror.

04 December 2020

Yes, You Do Have a Magic Wand

I think it is a good idea to talk about the cooperative and willing universe we have. I knew this intellectually over the past few years. But it wasn't until this week that the truth of it became so flaming evident. It all starts with following an impulse. A thought in the mind without much evidence to justify a payoff by taking action. The feel of it is "I am going to do this because it feels like I should."

I realize that if you are under the influence of negative feelings or beliefs at any moment, then the impulse to take action probably is not from a higher source. But I'm not going down that bramble path today. I feel better on the light side.

Things played out quickly after I followed that feeling good impulse. I simply made a connection suggestion on Twitter. I had no idea I was to be witness to joy, happiness and appreciation. Nor any clue it was a reunion when I just thought it would lead to an introduction. When what I did was called out by one of those now involved, I could have deflected and demurred the value of my role.

Instead, I just had to reply this, "I humbly be of service to you all. I just followed those magical impulses." That day, I, was the cooperative and willing component to the Universe. I can't wait to be the insider again. And again. Feels so good.

02 December 2020

Not an Emotionless Zombie

Someone, anyone, please zap me with the emotion stick. Like I exist on one side of the glass and my feelings live on the other. I wish I knew how and why this happened. There has to be a way to prevent it from repeating. I came here in this life for the fun and full of it. I am a Creator who feels her way on the path. But today, I can barely see it.

I don't mean to sound like I am complaining about my lot. I believe there is a reason and serves me from a bigger picture kind of way.

For years now, I've told my hubbin I want to be here in my body past my 90th birthday. There's still LOTS I want to experience and me being 52, there's plenty of years unassigned. But not when I don't feel completely like ME. When I focus too long, my brain hurts. I have to back off when I just want to keep going.

I make progress with projects that matter, that will serve more than just me and then, wham! On my butt, almost starting from the discovery end. Very frustrating, It's like I should sit on the throne wearing all my finery but am really just wearing rags.

Okay, enough of telling that story. That gets me nowhere but more of the same.

Time to tell a different story. These brain moments have to be a gift, for they allow me to approach life from an offset perspective. Perhaps I can now see all I was blind to before. Knowing there is value right in front of me, I can take steps toward them without judgment. I am a Creator. And this is my life.

01 December 2020

Hi I am Michele and She Is...

So the thing happened again. Not the full-blown version of it. Enough that it derails my noodle enough where I feel not fully Me. And it was the day after Thanksgiving, too. I think I pieced together a couple of triggers: some stress, off eating schedule, and lack of sleep. Instead of happening when I am trying to wake up in the morning, it happened when I laid down for a nap.

I am going to name it for understanding, but not to give it more power. A seizure. Or at the very least, something going screwy in my head. It must have been because I am now familiar with the fallout from it. I don't quite feel like Michele.

What a silly thing to say.

When I paused writing on this blog last month, I felt like me and was making great progress on a project that matters a great deal. I wanted to give my full attention on that, and I did. But now, it's like I was before. Behind the curve, partially blindsided and with little momentum at my back.

So here I am again. Writing each day back to myself. It's too important for me to not stay away.